How to Encourage Your Spouse Part 2- For The Husbands

I find that encouragement comes naturally to me(Armando), and I love giving encouraging words to just about anyone. However, in the later years of our marriage, I started speaking negative words over Liz, possibly because our relationship wasn’t in a good place.

But when our marriage took a turn for the worst, God changed my heart towards her. I grew to love encouraging her because I could see how my words helped her heal and grow.

One thing I've discovered is that encouragement is more than just words; it’s action. Liz loves it when I help her clean the kitchen and wipe the counters off after she's done preparing a meal for the family. She's shared with me multiple times that she feels seen when I do this. To me, it’s just cleaning, but to her, it’s “being seen and appreciated.”

And I feel like that is one of the most encouraging things for her.

Over the last three years of our “new marriage”, I’ve done a few things for her that I feel have made an impact on her life and well being.

So today, I’m sharing these ideas with you…

Let's jump right in.

1. Get Her A Simple Gift

Just this week, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up roses, candy, and a card. When Liz walked in and saw everything on the table, she got teary-eyed. This wasn't just random candy; each one represented something meaningful to her. A simple gift can go a long way with your wife when there is meaning behind it.

Total cost: $25

2. Handwritten Letter

Never underestimate the power of a handwritten letter. And guys, you don't have to write a novel. It can be as simple as, “Hey, I love you, and I just want to say THANK YOU for all that you do.” If you're bad at grammar or spelling, she'll love it even more because y'all can laugh at all the mistakes. (I know Liz, the grammar police, enjoys my misspelled words) LOL. With all seriousness... Write an encouraging letter to your wife and watch what happens.

3. Shut Up & Listen

This little tip has scored me some serious points. I'll ask Liz, "How are you doing today?" and I sit back and listen without saying a single word. After one hundred hours of her pouring out her heart, I just smile and say, "I love you." 😀 And she's encouraged. Sometimes all your wife wants is for someone to listen to her and to just be there for her. You’ll be surprised at how simply lending her your ears and heart will make her feel seen and heard.

4. Speak the Word Over Her

Wives love to be led by their husbands spiritually. In a stressful time, it’s important to speak God's word over her. We believe that every word in the Bible is breathed by God and is alive and active(Hebrews 4:12). When Liz is having a rough time and I'm ready with a scripture or even a prayer, she feels a sense of safety, knowing that I can soundly lead her and help guide her back to the truth of God's word. So what I'm trying to say is, get in your word, read it, and share it with her. Be ready to speak life into her and watch her flourish.

I'll end with this scripture:

Proverbs 18:21 Amplified Bible (AMP)

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.“

Are you speaking words of life over your wife or words that bring destruction? The words you speak will determine your marriage.

Prayer for today: "God, give me a heart for my wife. Show me the ways she needs encouragement today, and help me be there for her. If her heart is burdened, I am more than willing to lift it with a kind word. Amen."

Which one of these ideas speaks to you the most? Any to add to the list? Feel free to respond to our email with your input. We look forward to hearing from you!

Talk soon,

Armando