Fighting for Your Marriage: Is It Worth It?

Looking back on the 15 years of marriage before 2020—before everything came crashing down—we had never really heard the phrase “fighting for your marriage.”

It wasn’t until we were faced with what felt like an impossible choice and an uphill battle that the words truly came to life for us. Our marriage was in ruins, and we had no idea how to rebuild. We were lost, exhausted, and desperate for answers. We needed a strategy. We needed strength.

What followed was one of the hardest but most transformative seasons of our lives. Through trial, error, and unwavering faith, we discovered key principles that didn’t just help us restore our marriage but gave us a foundation for a marriage devoted to God.

The Strategy That Changed Everything

-We found a church.
We needed a spiritual home, a place where we could grow in faith and be surrounded by people who could encourage and support us. "Let us not neglect meeting together, as some have made a habit, but let us encourage one another..." – Hebrews 10:25

-We drew closer to God.
Instead of relying solely on our own strength, we surrendered to God. The more we sought Him, the more He worked in us. “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” – James 4:8

-We searched for wisdom in God's Word.
Rather than looking to the world for answers, we turned to Scripture to understand God's design for marriage. We enjoyed talking about the scriptures we had found and applied them to our lives. “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.” – Proverbs 24:3

-We started praying together.
Praying together felt awkward at first, but we realized that when we invited God into our marriage daily, everything changed. Prayers became not only a way to empower ourselves but a way to empower one another.“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” – Matthew 18:20

-We left behind old friendships.
Not everyone in our lives was for our marriage. Some friendships had to be left behind because they didn’t share the values of faith and marriage that had become so important to us. "Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’” – 1 Corinthians 15:33

-We set boundaries and safeguards.
To protect what we were rebuilding, we created safeguards in our marriage—guardrails to keep us from falling back into old habits or temptations. At the core of these boundaries was a heart to honor God in honoring each other. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23

-We created a vision for our marriage and family.
We wrote down what we wanted our marriage to look like, what kind of family we wanted to build, and what values we would stand on. “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.” – Habakkuk 2:2

Purging, rebuilding, and redefining our marriage was mentally, spiritually, and even physically exhausting. In 2022, both Armando and I found ourselves in the ER, our bodies overwhelmed by the stress and anxiety of the fight.

But we knew the truth: The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy—but Jesus came to give life, and life more abundantly. (John 10:10)

If you are fighting for your marriage, hold on. Stay strong. Stay on the same page. Lean into God, but also lean into each other. The road may feel long and painful, but if you don’t give up, you will reap the reward of a marriage stronger and better than ever before.

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9

Fighting for your marriage is a good fight to fight.

We are praying for you, believing that God will come in like a flood and do great and mighty things in your marriage.

Keep up the fight—trust us, it’s worth it!

Pray Together:

“Lord, we come together today, trusting that You have a plan and purpose for our marriage. Though the road feels difficult at times, we are grateful that we do not walk this journey alone. You are fighting for us and with us. Thank You for Your protection over our marriage. We lean on Your strength and seek Your wisdom to guide us through every challenge. When the weight feels too heavy to bear, lift us up and remind us to stand united. Teach us to fight for our marriage with love, grace, and faith. In Jesus' name, Amen.”

How can we pray for your marriage today? Simply respond to this email with your need.

With Love,

Armando/Liz