How to Honeymoon During Hard Times

Life gets hard sometimes. We get it. When we had to figure out this marriage thing God's way, we had to do it in the midst of the biggest trial either of us had ever faced. I (Liz) felt deep shame, pain, and rejection. Armando felt betrayed and hurt not only by me but by God.

Yet throughout the journey, we felt God IN that dark tunnel with us. He wasn't just a light we could see at the end. We could feel His presence and light right in the darkness with us.

As we walked through this hard season together, we also felt at the same time like we were on a honeymoon. How could that be? How could things be so difficult, but we had immeasurable overwhelming love for one another despite it?

Well, number 1, it was God. Psalms 34:18 says, "The Lord is near to the heartbroken And He saves those who are crushed in spirit (contrite in heart, truly sorry for their sin)." We needed His wisdom, strength, peace, and His leading as we walked through this season together. He was there. We also felt like we were given a NEW marriage. We had this new gift to cherish. We also had to decide. We had to make the choice to do things anyway even though we were hurting and tired.

We loved each other anyway. We had compassion anyway. We served anyway. We prayed anyway. We did devotionals together anyway. We went to church anyway. We went on a date anyway. We hung out with the kids anyway. We had tough conversations anyway. And because of our relentless fight for each other during that season, we felt even more in love than when we first got married.

The other day we were sitting at home. We realized in this current season of stress and overwhelm financially and with raising teens that we had not done anything together as a family. We didn't have the biggest budget to work with, but we decided to do something anyway. We went to Galveston and grabbed dinner and some dessert with the kids on The Strand. Sounds simple, but it was just the change of scenery and environment we needed to get out of the funk we were in. We laughed and enjoyed one another. It reminded us that when things get hard, we have to decide to have a good time anyway.

So can you really honeymoon during tough times? We think YES! Take a few minutes and read through our tips to be able to do so:

Action Steps:

1. Pray and ask for wisdom during your hard season. (James 1:5)

God gives us wisdom when we ask for it. So pray and ask. Seek God together and ask him to walk with you.

2. Prioritize one another (Choose each other daily)

If we aren't careful to prioritize one another during hard seasons the enemy will come in and get us to villainize our spouse. Remember there's one main enemy of your marriage, the devil. Recognize when he's using his tactics to try and divide you. In HARD times prioritize, don't villainize.

3. Change your environment (Go someplace new)

We will often get STUCK in hard seasons. Depression, anxiety, worry and fear will paralyze you. Get out and go someplace new. Go on a walk in the park. Go for a drive. Go to a new restaurant. Sometimes this may mean even changing your friend group. 

4. Do it anyway 

Whatever it may be… going away for a weekend, date night, discussions, going to church, finding a counselor, telling them you love them, pursuing each other, laughing together…just do it.

5. Set a Vision for your Marriage

Set standards for how you want your marriage to look. If it doesn't look like that now, a vision/dream/goal helps give you a target so that you can both do what's necessary to get there. When the hard times come in life, and you have vision, you can remind yourself of it and find the motivation to keep pushing towards that vision.

Push through the HARD. Do what you can but also allow the Holy Spirit to fill every part of your lives so that you can both endure together. You don't have to wait for catastrophe to strike to start again and relive your honeymoon phase. If you can be persistent, pursue, and choose one another daily when the hard times come you'll have each other to get through it together.

Which one of these tips sticks out to you the most?

Rooting and Praying for you!

Liz and Armando