Secrets To Protecting Your Marriage

Rebuilding our marriage from the ground up required heavy lifting. It was in this process of growing closer to God and to each other that some things were revealed to us.

We discovered the nooks, crannies, cracks in the windows, and small doors opened in our marriage relationship that we now needed to make sure we safeguarded.

We had to establish some boundaries for our relationship.

Early on in our healing journey, we did a devotional where we read the following scripture…

'“Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that spoil and ruin the vineyards [of love], While our vineyards are in blossom.” '

Song of Solomon 2:15

In the devotional, we learned that it's little tiny foxes that can destroy a growing, thriving, and beautiful garden.

These little foxes are the little tiny things we let through the cracks. The things after years of marriage you just don't have the care to tend to anymore. The little compromises that wreak havoc after a while.

We had allowed little foxes to come in over the years. Things like looking at the opposite sex and going too far with our imaginations. Impure thinking. Things like secret texting or messaging with the opposite sex. Things like allowing lust and sin to guide our sex life. Things like entertaining/flirting with the opposite sex. The list of “foxes” goes on.

Living this way with little regard to upholding the sacredness of our marriage eventually caused us to drift further and further away from one another. There was no trust, we were full of secrets and suspicion and the relationship wasn’t healthy.

So when we had the chance to begin again, we began to follow what we felt would be best to build trust and guard our marriage.

We even established a sort of MISSION STATEMENT of commitment that went like this…

“My heart is for you, my eyes are for you, my body is for you, always.” It was a statement of commitment we could build upon.

At the end of the day, you have to know what you want. You have to WANT TO cherish your spouse and keep your marriage guarded so that you can withstand anything. Understand that boundaries are good for your marriage.

We are gonna be vulnerable and share the list of our safeguards we put in place to protect our marriage:

• We don’t entertain DMs/texts from the opposite sex.

• We don’t feast our eyes on other people.

• We don’t compare our spouse to someone else.

• We spend time together every day.

• We don’t keep secrets.

• We wont be in a room alone with the opposite sex.

• We don’t have close friends of the opposite sex.

When in doubt, always ask yourself, “Does this honor my spouse?”

To some, this list may seem extreme but after what we went through and the time it's taken for us to feel healed and restored, we are okay doing whatever it takes to keep our marriage sacred.

Discussion: Do you and your spouse need to do better at setting boundaries? What are some little foxes you can identify and set a boundary in place for?

PS. We hope you enjoyed Easter with your family. We spent time with our church family and then our immediate family. We celebrated NEW LIFE in Jesus through the power of the cross, we ate amazing food, and took a good nap.

We are thankful you opened and read our article today! If you would like prayer, please respond to this email or reach out via Instagram.

Be blessed,

Armando and Liz