Try A Little Tenderness

Right before our marriage hit a rock and a hard place in 2020, we had already been married for 15 years. We were in the middle of raising pre-teens at the time, living in two totally different worlds, and honestly, our hearts for one another were not in a good place.

When we came to a point where it was either we stayed married or we part ways, God showed up in all His might. We stayed together. This weird thing happened.

We were never “touchy” or “sweet” towards one another before. Quite the opposite was true; we were ugly, rude, mean, and disregarded one another's needs altogether. It wasn't until 2020, when we almost lost our marriage and our family was almost torn apart, that we started to cherish one another and show tenderness to one another.

In reality, it was Jesus’ response to us in our greatest time of need that allowed us to then share that grace, mercy, and love with one another. We became “touchy” and “tender” to one another, cherishing each other in a way we never had before.

We went from hardly hugging to embracing one another closely in public settings. We went from never sleeping together in the same bed to cuddling all night long. We went from never holding hands to barely being able to keep our hands off one another. WEIRD. LOL! But we were so close to losing one another, so it's almost like we were making up for lost years of closeness and intimacy.

There were and still are little things we do to show tenderness and care to one another, and that's what we feel led to share with you today.

Ways to Show Tenderness and Care To Your Spouse:

1. TENDER TOUCH

Wives love to be touched gently. Go in for a long embrace and a gentle kiss on her forehead. This little touch of tenderness helps her feel cared for and protected by her husband. Husbands love to be touched too. Go out of your way to touch him in the way HE ENJOYS ;) Hand-holding is another way to show gentleness and connection to one another. Take advantage of any time you can touch one another. In reality, a long hug can help you slow down and recenter yourself.

2. TENDER TONES

When you talk to one another, do you sound snappy, irritated, and angry? A wife loves when her husband can communicate thoughtful questions with tenderness. For example, “Hey baby, what's on your mind?” sounds better than, “What's wrong with you?” and vice versa. Husbands enjoy when a wife is interested in what he is talking about. There are gentler ways to ask questions and communicate tenderly to one another (this includes putting phones away when speaking to one another). The best thing to do is think through what you will say and put some of “God's Grace” behind it.

P.S. If you ever do get snappy, be quick to apologize and ask your spouse if it's ok for you to start over.

3. TENDER TEXTS

Let's face it, sometimes the quickest and easiest way to communicate is through texts. We don't personally use texting to communicate through disagreements/arguments/touchy subjects, etc., but we use texts to encourage and lift each other up occasionally. Sometimes it's sweet to get a message in the middle of your hectic day that says, “Hey, I ordered you food on Door Dash, I love you” or “I love and appreciate all that you do for me” or “You are the sexiest man/woman alive, and I'm so lucky to have you as my own”. If you haven't shared something sweet with your spouse via text message, here's your reminder to send them a sweet text TODAY!

Todays prayer : “ God in the ways you have been gentle and kind to us even when we don’t deserve it help us to show each other gentleness and kindness today. Amen”

Thanks for reading! If you have a need today feel free to respond to this email. We would love to partner with you in believing for a greater more thrilling God centered marriage!

Be Blessed,

Armando and Liz